day 15 of the cast

alright so the first 3 or 4 days i was going insane. legitimately i couldn't do anything without freaking out about having the cast on. now it's more of an annoyance than anything. i've become mildly used to having it on, but i want to be able to get on with my life. i want to get back to work. i want to be able to  get around and carry stuff in my hands without using crutches. i want to not sit around all day doing nothing. i really want to get back to the gym. i was thinking about it and my day before getting hurt consisted of waking up, making breakfast, going to the gym, doing p90, probably going to work, then coming home and most likely smoking or going out. with a cast on, it takes forever to get your day started because i can't shower and i can't carry things in my hands because i'm using the crutches. making any meal is a huge task and when i do finish cooking i have to hop on one foot carrying a drink and my meal. needless to say i spill a shit ton in this process. after that i just either watch tv, play madden, or read for the rest of the day. i have no income so i'm not going out and spending money. it's kind of fucking annoying that friends give me shit for being all antisocial and down. i mean i'm not gonna fucking walk downtown with you guys on a saturday night in a crowded bar and spend money i don't have. ya so me staying home must mean that i'm being gay and depressed. ya that's probably exactly what it means. wanna get lunch? no i don't wanna go out and spend 0-20 bucks that i don't have when i have 730 dollars in rent and 100 in bills i have to pay. oh and i'm spending 70 a week in gas. ya so i don't exactly want to go to rutabegorz with you. good thing i'm not one of those idiotic people that get by month to month and actually have a savings account. i haven't touched it yet and i really hope not to. i haven't been saving to spend my money on frivolous little shit. haven't really been drinking and haven't really been smoking either. i'm hoping the lack of libations and abundance of vitamin and supplement intake speeds up the healing process. tomorrow i am going to call the doctor and say that my cast is loose and i would like it recasted. when i get that off i am really really hoping that they will give me a walking boot or a soft cast or something because i don't  i can handle another hard cast. this one has gotten very loose as i have lost alot of leg muscle. really though alot. i was probably at one of my highest points in leg strength before i got hurt. i was squating 275 3-4 times. anyways here's to hopefully a walking boot tomorrow.